walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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