she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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