He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
