someone owes me an orgasm
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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