Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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