The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize