I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
