You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
