I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
