yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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