The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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