come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
