u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
