Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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