Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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