Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
