You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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