Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
