her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
