this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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