So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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