can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
