"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
