youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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