Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
