It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
