i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
