Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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