So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
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! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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