I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
