apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
