yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize