Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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