Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
