I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
