got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
