I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
