What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
