Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
