he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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