is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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