so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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