i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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