2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Panties = found
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