i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
