I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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