There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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