Me. At least after what I've been through.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
