oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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