apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
