Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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