Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
