I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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