Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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