she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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