Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
