you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
