i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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